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The Lift (Transcript)
Transcript (The Chuckle Brothers enter into the office, where a water cooler is) Barry: Here it is. Paul: Well, It can't be much wrong with it. I made it myself. Barry: Well, according to the report, It's not keeping the water cold. Paul: (fixes the part of the cooler) Fixed it. Barry: The tap drips Paul: (fixes the taps) Fixed it. Barry: And finally, there's a small green newt swimming about in the tank. Paul: I wondered where Lesley had gone. (He sees Lesley, the newt inside the bottle) Hello mate, we've been looking all over the place for you. Barry: It's going to be a messy job getting him out of there. Paul: Oh you manage that all right. Barry: What are you're gonna do? Paul: I gonna sit down and put me feet up. (he does so in an office chair and puts his feet up on the desk) It's a long walk down the stairs. Barry: Well I had to climb them as well. Paul: Ah yes, but you lighten me. You know. I always fancy myself as a boss of a big company like this. Ordering people around. Barry: You do that anyway. Paul: Get on with it! Barry: See? NS: Um, Excuse me. I know you must be busy. Paul: Never a minute's pace. NS: I'm the maintenance manager. The builders have just arrived to put in a new basement. (He sets down a blueprint of the building) Paul: Oh I see. NS: And they wanted to know if you have any special requirements? Paul: Me? NS: Yes. Paul: Well, I'm allergic to penicillin and I don't like brown bread. NS: About the basement? (Barry accidentally squirts water onto NS' back) Barry: Sorry. Paul: You just can't get the staff these days. Now where do you want it? NS: What? The basement? Paul: Yes. NS: Well, downstairs, of course. Paul: Ooh, there's a mistake for a start. That's much better if you have it up here on the fifth floor. (draws the arrow to make his point) NS: What? The basement? Paul: Much hander that. Barry: It's no good. You have to drain it back to the workshop. Paul: Well, get on with it then. NS: Then, there's the executive washroom, you see. Paul: Yes. Well, that will ought to be over here, by the canteen. NS: But, there's no room. Paul: Well, you move the canteen three feet that way don't ya. NS: But that will mean that the kitchen should be out in the car park. Paul: Yes. the chef will appreciate the fresh air. NS: Well what if it rains? Paul: Well tell him to a great big lid on top of the soup like that. (he draws a picture of what he's telling NS, until Barry who is having trouble with the cooler bumps into NS, causing Paul to smudge ink onto NS' shirt.) Oh, Sorry. Barry: Oh dear. NS: It's all right sir. Paul: Now, we'll be off then. NS: What? Paul: Oh, if you start this building work, I run it past your boss first. NS: You mean your not the boss? Barry: No he isn't. NS: (lifting up the map to reveal the ink is now on the desk) Then my blueprints! Paul: I thought you wanted my opinion. NS: Of all the blundering Oafs. Paul: Don't be so hard on yourself. NS: Not me I meant you!. Now get that thing out of here! And remember... Both: No Slacking! NS: If I never see you two again, it will be too soon! (he tears up the blueprints and storms off, leaving the chuckle brothers confused, and then they shrug) This transcript is unfinished. Feel free to finish it or edit it Category:Transcripts